Family can be complicated.
Psychologists often say that your family dynamics play a huge role in shaping who you are. Your family structure affects how you relate to other people, how you resolve (or bury) conflict, and even influences the type of person you look for in a romantic relationship.
The word “family” can mean different things to different people. For some it brings a sense of warmth, comfort, and security. For others, it has connotations of violence, abuse, neglect, and longing. For a vast majority of people, they have a mixture of all the aforementioned feelings.
We are terrified of creating a family dynamic that will mimic the negative characteristics of our own upbringings. We fight tooth and nail to avoid becoming what we hate. It is a difficult thing, to create a healthy family dynamic. But if we really want to see it, we need to first heal from our familial wounds. And oftentimes, healing often begins with the unintentional and often unexpected revelation that we are wounded.
We can’t control what happens to us. We can only control how we respond to the situations and circumstances in our lives. Healing is difficult, yes. Perhaps it will be the most painful thing you ever experience. But it is necessary. And you must believe that there will be redemption… even in the most broken of families.